(The Nostromo crew have brought the recovered Kane into the mess area to have coffee—but what about the food? I mean, why 'Coffee'?)
1. 'CHAPTER 5—COFFEE. 'So you did turn the page after all! Well I hope you've got a good stomach for it!'
2. "Har!" says one of the crew, pointing, "Remember Parker—ha-hah tripping over that bluddy cat called Jones!" "Humph!" snorts Parker, in response, "We should. I nearly broke ma kneck." Kane, changing the subject shovels another forkful of food into his hungry mouth and says, "Boy I wuz 'ungry—sheesh—thing is, ya never know what this artificial (food) is!"
(I think we know what's going to happen next...)
Time for Coffee—and Some 'artificial food' 
So, you did turn the page after all! Only to find - EEEEK!! - that it'd be a chapter about someone spilling their coffee on the Nostromo's new carpet - knitted by nervy Lambert.
splosh - spill - stain - ruin! AGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!
Ok, that's my under-grad humour quotient fulfilled for today's issue. Oh, so funny...
The page on the left, from 1979, looks like it took about 10 minutes to scrawl! (Now, if I could only get back to that way of working - and sufficiently lower my critical faculties, I'll be bashing out comics like be-Jesus).
The sole reference for the scene you are now reading
"Boy I 'wuz' 'ungry'
- thing is (comma inserted) ya never know wot this artificial is'"
Kane - speaking a mix of American and Cockney
It's interesting: in the future, people will speak in a weird hybrid of stereotype Duelling-Banjo 'American' and lazy (London) Cockney. It makes sense doesn't it? Think about it.... You see? Perfectly logical (author hiding face in shame and embarrassment). NO. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING.
I - WAS - ELEVEN - DAMMIT!
Who is that supposed to be on the left? Brett? Brett's a total unknown character in this version of ALIEN. I kept on seeing him in that photo - as a kid, without realising it was him! Kane's sort of generic too. I wouldn't have ever even heard of John Hurt at the time. It's funny: I probably first saw him in the much more - crawl inside your brain forever - horrific 10 Rillington Place late at night - on my own - before I ever saw ALIEN. The irony.
Parker looks quite comical sitting so low behind the table-top like a little kid. He certainly doesn't exude any of his usual macho cool. (I first saw Yaphet Kotto in Blue Collar)
And illustrators drink lots of it
Work driving you mad?
I spent 5 happy hours on Saturday night/Sunday morning, while I had the house to myself, attempting to draw page 1 of a brand new comic that I plan to publish online. To see what happens and where it takes me creatively. It's a shocker when you realise the time involved. Of course, much of it comes down to experience, but also to style and how picky you are as an artist. Anyway, 5 hours gave rise to a black-inked page with speech balloons. Apparently that's pretty average, but I have a full time job and a family!
More from the '70s on Wednesday!