"The Little Bastard" 
Review: "Holy Awesome! I want the entire movie collected into a black leather-bound hardcover with gold embossing!"
I'm pretty sure that's what it said - before I censored it. I'd say I was a bit older when I did these - probably 12? Bastard isn't really the sort of word I wanted my dad to see me writing in my comic. Later, when I went to secondary school we all got much amusement and a mild thrill when our metalwork teacher managed to get back onto the subject of metalworking files. Which is unusual because:
A. The rascals of the class were very adept at stopping him doing his job. "Did you see the the match on Sunday sir?" and
B. Metalwork theory was excruciatingly dull.
The only bit that I liked was doing the drawings. But one day, he jolted us from our slumber:
"Lads, this here is a Bastard-Cut file. So there you are. You can all go home and use that word in front of your parents now without fear of being given out to."
Left: A flat smooth file | Right Symbol of middle-class youth-rebellion
(Sing to the tune of 'You Fat Bastard' by Bad Manners)
Parker - or Perkins?
Forgive me but - does the actor in panel 1 look familiar to you? "No mother - I won't do it!" (staring madly off into the near distance). Jesus, first Gerard Butler has a go and now this?
Someone please tell me who Dallas looks like in Panel 2? When I was a kid, I always wondered. I think it was this picture. Obviously he doesn't look like Dallas (because that would be ridiculous). It's some terrible actor from Universal studios TV shows or something. Not Robert Wagner - not Orson Welles. So annoying. Hey - maybe one of those more mature Bollywood actors?
"What's going on? I heard over an open monitor."
"Nothing else to do on this boat, why? You object?
"No, just curious."
Novelisation - Alan Dean Foster
Do you think Dallas is already suspicious about his crewmates? - and The Company?
More from the '70s on Friday!